Katharine & Cole
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Cole ate food!!
Yay! Happy half birthday little man!!
This is what he looked like BEFORE he ate food...lol
I first steamed a bunch of sweet potatoes, then pureed most of them with some of his formula. The rest I mashed or cut into little pieces.
I don't know how much he really liked it, it looks to be like not much, but it was fun:) I somehow posted a video from youtube and I think it ended up in a different post, and for some reason blogger isn't letting me add more photos at the moment, but I will try later:)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
hm..
Well, I have gone back and forth for months now about writing something about this, because if I don't write it exactly right, its going to come off wrong and people are going to get angry with me, which is not my intention. So, I'm going to go ahead, and attempt to write this exactly right...lol.
I am sick and tired, of not being treated the way I feel I should be treated a lot of the time. Ok, and that may have come off wrong, so let me explain.
If you have siblings, you know how when you are younger and growing up, you get into fights a lot about this or that, or do things purposefully to make your other sibling angry...I mean, generic kid stuff. It happens. But, doesn't it have to come to a point, at some time, when those things change? When its NOT ok to keep doing that? Or, am I supposed to just take it, just because its my sister? I mean, of course its not all of the time. Sometimes shes great, helps watch Cole like she did last night when I had a concert, or if I have a doctor's appointment that I can't bring him with me to. But, what I am not ok with, is when she is in a bad mood, for her to feel that it is OK to take that bad mood out of me. How sometimes, she will storm through the room, completely ignoring me while I'm with Cole. I can ask her a question and she can just keep on walking. Now, right now Cole is too young to understand, but what is he going to think in like a year? I also do not appreciate hearing lies, and hearing fake sympathy for others. The type of person who causes issues, but then does everything they can to forget about the bad things they have done, because if they keep thinking about the bad things they keep doing they feel really bad, but never address what makes them do those bad things, and in turn, don't apologize or let themselves even feel remorse for them.
I don't like turning into the bad person, because I ask, after not asking for 3 days, for my sister to clean up the piles of dishes of hers in the kitchen. I don't think that should turn me into the bad guy, especially when I am going out of my way to try to sound upbeat and un-naggy.
Also, I would so much rather be told, 'i'm in a bad mood and I don't want to talk' or 'I don't want to tell you', instead of being lied to and/or ignored.
My mom does not want to be in the middle of all of this, but, she puts herself there. And I'm not sure why, because the whole time she does it, she says she doesn't want to. And, because (and we all know this) my sister tends to only tell half of the story about anything, and because of course my mom doesn't not have all of the info, I get the a lot of her coming to me jumping to conclusions without all of the facts. I have brought this up to her, saying that it hurts me, and yet it still seems to happen. Frequently.
I'm not exactly sure what I am supposed to do now. But, honestly, I'm sick of feeling hurt a lot.
Recently, I put up a facebook status talking about being sick of being lied to. I had overheard my mother ask my sister if some guy was not a good guy, and that was it. I asked my mom what that was about, concerned, and she immediately got defensive and told me it was not her place and to ask her myself. So, I did. My sister tried to act like she had no idea what I was talking about...and then kept walking out of the room mostly ignoring me completely. If she had just said she didn't want to tell me about it, fine...its the way she goes about it...like the way she always does, that bothers me. Hence, my facebook status.
But, I end up getting a message from my mother telling me how its out of line, and completely defensive.
I end up having to clarify a facebook status!
Then she says she doesn't want to be in the middle of it.
The middle of what? You don't? Then why did I get this message.
This is just the same cycle that keeps happening....about every tiny little thing.
I don't want to act childish and say 'no, i'm not talking to my sister any more'....but honestly, I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I want respect, and if I don't get respect, I don't want to keep dealing with someone who can continuously be rude to me, and I don't want to put up with it any more. And, every time I stick up for myself, in whatever way I choose to, I get reprimanded by a third party who doesn't want to be in the middle.
What do I do? Any suggestions welcome...
I am sick and tired, of not being treated the way I feel I should be treated a lot of the time. Ok, and that may have come off wrong, so let me explain.
If you have siblings, you know how when you are younger and growing up, you get into fights a lot about this or that, or do things purposefully to make your other sibling angry...I mean, generic kid stuff. It happens. But, doesn't it have to come to a point, at some time, when those things change? When its NOT ok to keep doing that? Or, am I supposed to just take it, just because its my sister? I mean, of course its not all of the time. Sometimes shes great, helps watch Cole like she did last night when I had a concert, or if I have a doctor's appointment that I can't bring him with me to. But, what I am not ok with, is when she is in a bad mood, for her to feel that it is OK to take that bad mood out of me. How sometimes, she will storm through the room, completely ignoring me while I'm with Cole. I can ask her a question and she can just keep on walking. Now, right now Cole is too young to understand, but what is he going to think in like a year? I also do not appreciate hearing lies, and hearing fake sympathy for others. The type of person who causes issues, but then does everything they can to forget about the bad things they have done, because if they keep thinking about the bad things they keep doing they feel really bad, but never address what makes them do those bad things, and in turn, don't apologize or let themselves even feel remorse for them.
I don't like turning into the bad person, because I ask, after not asking for 3 days, for my sister to clean up the piles of dishes of hers in the kitchen. I don't think that should turn me into the bad guy, especially when I am going out of my way to try to sound upbeat and un-naggy.
Also, I would so much rather be told, 'i'm in a bad mood and I don't want to talk' or 'I don't want to tell you', instead of being lied to and/or ignored.
My mom does not want to be in the middle of all of this, but, she puts herself there. And I'm not sure why, because the whole time she does it, she says she doesn't want to. And, because (and we all know this) my sister tends to only tell half of the story about anything, and because of course my mom doesn't not have all of the info, I get the a lot of her coming to me jumping to conclusions without all of the facts. I have brought this up to her, saying that it hurts me, and yet it still seems to happen. Frequently.
I'm not exactly sure what I am supposed to do now. But, honestly, I'm sick of feeling hurt a lot.
Recently, I put up a facebook status talking about being sick of being lied to. I had overheard my mother ask my sister if some guy was not a good guy, and that was it. I asked my mom what that was about, concerned, and she immediately got defensive and told me it was not her place and to ask her myself. So, I did. My sister tried to act like she had no idea what I was talking about...and then kept walking out of the room mostly ignoring me completely. If she had just said she didn't want to tell me about it, fine...its the way she goes about it...like the way she always does, that bothers me. Hence, my facebook status.
But, I end up getting a message from my mother telling me how its out of line, and completely defensive.
I end up having to clarify a facebook status!
Then she says she doesn't want to be in the middle of it.
The middle of what? You don't? Then why did I get this message.
This is just the same cycle that keeps happening....about every tiny little thing.
I don't want to act childish and say 'no, i'm not talking to my sister any more'....but honestly, I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I want respect, and if I don't get respect, I don't want to keep dealing with someone who can continuously be rude to me, and I don't want to put up with it any more. And, every time I stick up for myself, in whatever way I choose to, I get reprimanded by a third party who doesn't want to be in the middle.
What do I do? Any suggestions welcome...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Sleeping
So, sleep seems to be a topic that comes up I think from the most people since Cole has been born, with advice from his doctor, nurse practitioner, my mom, friends, and so on. I would first like to start out by saying that everyone should do what they feel is right for their child. You know your child better than anyone.
I have been told by a lot of people that its ok to let him cry. My doctor seemed to be more so just telling me its alright if its what I choose to do, and the nurse practioner was suggesting I do it. My mom has told me that it is important to get him to the point where he can calm himself, and get himself to sleep without my help.
Now, I agree with my moms point of view. I think it is important, that he gets to a point where falling asleep by himself can be done. With this in mind, I will put him in his crib for naps, or down to bed for the night in his nap nanny when he is tired and try to get him to go to sleep by himself. He has done it and can do it. What I will not do, and can't bring myself to do, is to just let him full on cry. Sometimes he just goes to sleep quietly, and others he kind of 'sings' himself to sleep, vocalizing and making raspberry sounds. Sometimes, he does a fake cry for about 15 seconds. Thats different. But, I just can't bring myself to just let him cry it out, and I know a lot of people use this method.
The reason? I'm not convinced its ok for him. I have read some things (and of course I won't be able to find the exact links right now) that have said that crying it out doesn't have any scientific backing that it is ok for a baby's mental state, and that a lot of babies who have 'learned' to not cry and get themselves to sleep that way, have actually become kind of depressed. (Not all, some). I know I wouldn't want my baby crying thinking "mommy doesn't want to come get me, she doesn't care that I'm crying, so I guess I'll just deal with it myself even though I'm not even 6 months old".
I know that if hes crying, he wants me for some reason or another. Either because his teeth hurt, because he has a little cold, because he wants SOMETHING. So, I'm going to provide that for him. That doesn't mean, that what I choose to do now, isn't going to change later on. If I'm ok with him needing me a lot when hes sleeping/getting to sleep now, and if I'm ok with co-sleeping still now, that does not mean that its going to be the same thing when he is a teenager. I've been asked the question of 'when'. Well, when I feel hes ready, and I feels he actually has more of an understanding than he does now.
When it comes to co-sleeping, if it gets to the point where its possible for him to try to get up and crawl and fall off of the bed while I'm sleeping, then thats when hes going to start sleeping in his crib. I don't know when that is going to be, so I can't place a label on that.
When it comes to him crying, if he is able to walk around and its obvious that his crying for me to help him get to sleep, or him not wanting to sleep, is somewhere along the lines of a temper tantrum, thats also a different story.
I know full well that this means I'm getting a whole lot less sleep then a lot of people out there, but I'm ok with what. I am hoping that this among other things I do, is what is helping my son to be such a happy silly baby most of the time too (and the biggest flirt in the grocery store!)
I have been told by a lot of people that its ok to let him cry. My doctor seemed to be more so just telling me its alright if its what I choose to do, and the nurse practioner was suggesting I do it. My mom has told me that it is important to get him to the point where he can calm himself, and get himself to sleep without my help.
Now, I agree with my moms point of view. I think it is important, that he gets to a point where falling asleep by himself can be done. With this in mind, I will put him in his crib for naps, or down to bed for the night in his nap nanny when he is tired and try to get him to go to sleep by himself. He has done it and can do it. What I will not do, and can't bring myself to do, is to just let him full on cry. Sometimes he just goes to sleep quietly, and others he kind of 'sings' himself to sleep, vocalizing and making raspberry sounds. Sometimes, he does a fake cry for about 15 seconds. Thats different. But, I just can't bring myself to just let him cry it out, and I know a lot of people use this method.
The reason? I'm not convinced its ok for him. I have read some things (and of course I won't be able to find the exact links right now) that have said that crying it out doesn't have any scientific backing that it is ok for a baby's mental state, and that a lot of babies who have 'learned' to not cry and get themselves to sleep that way, have actually become kind of depressed. (Not all, some). I know I wouldn't want my baby crying thinking "mommy doesn't want to come get me, she doesn't care that I'm crying, so I guess I'll just deal with it myself even though I'm not even 6 months old".
I know that if hes crying, he wants me for some reason or another. Either because his teeth hurt, because he has a little cold, because he wants SOMETHING. So, I'm going to provide that for him. That doesn't mean, that what I choose to do now, isn't going to change later on. If I'm ok with him needing me a lot when hes sleeping/getting to sleep now, and if I'm ok with co-sleeping still now, that does not mean that its going to be the same thing when he is a teenager. I've been asked the question of 'when'. Well, when I feel hes ready, and I feels he actually has more of an understanding than he does now.
When it comes to co-sleeping, if it gets to the point where its possible for him to try to get up and crawl and fall off of the bed while I'm sleeping, then thats when hes going to start sleeping in his crib. I don't know when that is going to be, so I can't place a label on that.
When it comes to him crying, if he is able to walk around and its obvious that his crying for me to help him get to sleep, or him not wanting to sleep, is somewhere along the lines of a temper tantrum, thats also a different story.
I know full well that this means I'm getting a whole lot less sleep then a lot of people out there, but I'm ok with what. I am hoping that this among other things I do, is what is helping my son to be such a happy silly baby most of the time too (and the biggest flirt in the grocery store!)
time off...
Hey! So, obviously, I took some time off of here...hehe. Actually, there was some stuff going on around the house that was making me kind of crazy, so I thought I might end up over at wordpress since you can password protect certain blogs. So, I created one, and wrote, and then I felt better, and didn't see a need to continue there. Only problem? Forgot to come back here, but, SARAH, I promised, so here I am...lol.
I have a lot to catch up on!
Cole and I went on our first road trip. We went to northern VA/DC area to see an interlochen friend of mine, her husband and their adorable little baby. It was so much fun! She taught cole how to push up with his arms when we were there too! From there we went to NYC for only a couple of hours to see Jen, who was my roommate when I lived there, and it was amazing because I had not seen her in forever! We stopped in NJ that night, and then continued on back to upstate NY the next day. All in all it was about 1000 miles of driving.
About a week ago, Cole finally learned how to roll over from tummy to back, and has since become an expert..lol. He still doesn't try to crawl anywhere, but if you pick up his back legs he will push up with his arms.
Tonight, we ended up at the ER. Cole had been wheezing only when he was coughing, or right before he would cough...and with my asthma being so terrible it was alarming. Luckily, its just a bad cough and continuation of a head cold, and does not have the wheezing in his lungs. But today while in there, he sat by himself for about 3 or 4 minutes straight. Its kind of strange that he went from not even trying to move anywhere, to doing so much in such a short amount of time!
He turns 6 months old on the 28th, and we will start solid foods that day as well, starting with sweet potatoes, that I am going to make myself:)
And now, the not so happy news I guess. The 28th also marks the end of my restraining order, and, there have been some strange car happenings the last few days...like being followed out of thin air, and cars parked or standing next to the house only to drive away if you go out there. Kind of alarming. I had kind of hoped, that since my ex was in a relationship that would also help with the him staying away part, kind of like his mind is occupied somewhere else. But, it seems, as of tonight, through what I like to think of as my spying to make sure we stay safe, it seems that their relationship has ended, which, has prompted me to take some drastic online measures.
My screen name that I had used for everything, and I mean everything, I think might be pretty well known to him. I mean, if you type it into google, everything pops up. (I have tried searching for this blog on google, but can't find it so I am feeling pretty safe about that, if anyone sees differently please let me know). I also had my facebook as private as possible and he was blocked, but to further discourage interaction, and since pages I posted on on facebook were not private and searchable through google, I came up with a new random name. One he wouldn't think to ever search for. I have also used that name to come up with a new email address, and new cafemom screen name. I'm going to use it as well for new things like a youtube account. This may seem drastic and crazy to some, but I won't have my restraining order any more, because I have no basis to renew it. Its my hope, that if he tries to find any information related to me, that he will then be unsuccessful and maybe then give up.
So yes, I promise more updates more often! Have a great night everyone:)
I have a lot to catch up on!
Cole and I went on our first road trip. We went to northern VA/DC area to see an interlochen friend of mine, her husband and their adorable little baby. It was so much fun! She taught cole how to push up with his arms when we were there too! From there we went to NYC for only a couple of hours to see Jen, who was my roommate when I lived there, and it was amazing because I had not seen her in forever! We stopped in NJ that night, and then continued on back to upstate NY the next day. All in all it was about 1000 miles of driving.
About a week ago, Cole finally learned how to roll over from tummy to back, and has since become an expert..lol. He still doesn't try to crawl anywhere, but if you pick up his back legs he will push up with his arms.
Tonight, we ended up at the ER. Cole had been wheezing only when he was coughing, or right before he would cough...and with my asthma being so terrible it was alarming. Luckily, its just a bad cough and continuation of a head cold, and does not have the wheezing in his lungs. But today while in there, he sat by himself for about 3 or 4 minutes straight. Its kind of strange that he went from not even trying to move anywhere, to doing so much in such a short amount of time!
He turns 6 months old on the 28th, and we will start solid foods that day as well, starting with sweet potatoes, that I am going to make myself:)
And now, the not so happy news I guess. The 28th also marks the end of my restraining order, and, there have been some strange car happenings the last few days...like being followed out of thin air, and cars parked or standing next to the house only to drive away if you go out there. Kind of alarming. I had kind of hoped, that since my ex was in a relationship that would also help with the him staying away part, kind of like his mind is occupied somewhere else. But, it seems, as of tonight, through what I like to think of as my spying to make sure we stay safe, it seems that their relationship has ended, which, has prompted me to take some drastic online measures.
My screen name that I had used for everything, and I mean everything, I think might be pretty well known to him. I mean, if you type it into google, everything pops up. (I have tried searching for this blog on google, but can't find it so I am feeling pretty safe about that, if anyone sees differently please let me know). I also had my facebook as private as possible and he was blocked, but to further discourage interaction, and since pages I posted on on facebook were not private and searchable through google, I came up with a new random name. One he wouldn't think to ever search for. I have also used that name to come up with a new email address, and new cafemom screen name. I'm going to use it as well for new things like a youtube account. This may seem drastic and crazy to some, but I won't have my restraining order any more, because I have no basis to renew it. Its my hope, that if he tries to find any information related to me, that he will then be unsuccessful and maybe then give up.
So yes, I promise more updates more often! Have a great night everyone:)
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