Lost the battle?

I feel like I have lost a battle today, and Cole is going to suffer for it. It breaks my heart. My little man is in pain, and I don't know what I can do about it!

When Cole was just a couple of days old, he had this huge projectile vomit across the room. I didn't worry about it when I saw it, because of all the the times my mother has told me that I used to do that growing up...ALL THE TIME. Our family doctor seemed more concerned about it than I did, and told me to call back and come in again if he did it again. He did, two days later, so I took him in. I had noticed that he sounded kind of raspy as well, and kind of acted like he didn't feel well. She checked his lungs and said he sounded fine. It wasn't until after I got home that I could really place that raspy sound....it kind of sounded like when he cried, he was losing his voice. But, he was perfectly happy in the doctor's office...and she told me he wasn't raspy (nurse practitioner)...and completely dismissed me.
Today, I saw a different nurse practitioner....and was worried I would not be taken seriously. He has only projectile vomited about 5 times...but the amount of spit up sometimes is CRAZY. Sometimes its just milk..sometimes its seperated old milk. His eating habits have changed to. Sometimes he is hungry but doesn't want to eat...other times...he keeps on eating tiny little amounts very often. His hiccups amount has increased...to at least 4 times a day..and he does not look happy about it. Its happening when he isn't done eating yet. He started gagging and coughing while eating this week....and he is just obviously in pain. I feel like the reflux part was totally dismissed....but she listed to the gas part...only because she heard so much of it in the appointment. For the gas, I'm trying the drops...and also cutting out dairy. I couldn't even handle dairy until I was a teenager...and if I had an allergy its possible he does...so maybe this will help. What was also insane, is that she told me that at 1 month, he should be sleeping in his own room. I understand some people do that...but that is NOT for me! She tried to tell me how it was better for my health and his. That we would both sleep better. NOT TRUE. I just kept telling her no...lol. Good thing i didn't tell her I co-sleep 3/4 of the time...she probably would have called CPS!
Both this nurse practitioner and the other I saw..seem OVERLY concerned with the fact that I am a single mother I think. They try to stress over and over again, how its important for me to get some time to myself without Cole. I told her I am fine...and she didn't believe me. I don't want to go out without Cole...I miss him when I do. I mean, there are a few things this summer I would like to do that can't involve a baby...but those are very few things. (For example, they have these awesome and cheap steak dinners at this bar in town....I wouldn't want to have him near all of the cig smoke). If I feel like I'm gonna loose my mind, there are people I could ask to watch him. But...if I don't feel the need...why do it? Yes, there are sometimes where I think...wow...this would be CAKE if there was a dad involved though....and really thats in the middle of the night when I think to myself...wow...if I was married to his father (and the father was someone NICE that didn't beat on people)...and once every few days he woke up at one of the times at night when Cole was hungry...that would just be wonderful. Thats all I would need. lol. I'm really feeling the lack of sleep now...because Cole doesn't feel well! I think its crazy she was more wanting to talk about me getting out of the house, then helping me make my son feel better. (All babies cry and fuss she said).
In my head, I see it as they are not worried because he is gaining weight fine and his diaper count is awesome....but I see it as that being wonderful and all, and even if its not a SEVERE case of reflux...its still reflux...and it still makes him very uncomfortable! So, I'm at a loss...and feel like I lost for him today. I know that when we see his doctor she will be a lot more understanding...but it pains me to think that hes going to have to put up with this for the next month....eating...spitting it up...getting hungry again...being in pain...even crying in his sleep....my poor baby...and i can't make him any better:(