mememe (and him..hehe)

This is a completely selfish about me blog post...lol. Which, I kind of feel guilty about. I feel like since I became a mom, of course, everything is about Cole. Even more so, because he has something going on. But I have put myself so far on the back burner, and I'm exausted.

Cole will be 2 months old on the 28th. Since he has been born...this is what has happened with ME.
Today, I was just prescribed my FOURTH round of antibiotics. First was for an infected tooth, then one round for broncitis...then again when it turned into pneumonia...and now again today, for a different infected tooth.
I have had 2 teeth pulled.
I have had a fibromyalgia flair.
I have had swelling so severe, my feet were in a toe pointed position that made it nearly impossible to walk. I still have pain trying to get on the ground.
I have gone back to being tired and worn out, even when I do get sleep.
My blood pressure keeps going through the roof, and when it does, my pulse rate drops.
I have been in cold sweats for 3 weeks, even without a fever.

On top of this, is the stress of trying to find out whats wrong with Cole. Just when I think 'maybe thats helping!' something else happens. Like, for example, I have really tried to tackle this oversupply issue in the last 24 hours. LLL advised that I try to discard the foremilk at the beginning, and, last night I only pumped one side at a time. Almost immediately, there was no spit up. Also, he normally has a dirty diaper at every feeding. He went about 8 hours without one (then of course had a huge one..lol). It looked different because of the barium in it from his GI study yesterday, but, it wasn't green, and I didn't see any mucus or blood in it. A couple hours later, he had a little one, and it looked good. I was so happy..he wasn't even cranky (besides being a little tired fussy)...it wasn't the 'ahhh my stomach hurts' cranky. I was thinking..'man...this might be what it is!!'. I take him upstairs to give him a bath...take off his diaper...and bam...its green liquid. Baby diahera. And I'm thinking..WHAT did i do now. What did I eat, that he didn't like. I had meat, potato, dairy free/soy free bread, ketchup, and 100% juice fruit punch, and mango juice. But if its a food allergy...can I take it to mean that he is reacting to the last meal I had? I mean, yesterday, he had the barium at 3pm. It was not until this morning where is started to show up coming out of him.

The other thing is...I could pick tomatoes to cut out...and then if I saw improvement...I wouldn't know if it was from the tomatoes, or the soy, or the dairy, or the oversupply thing being resolved. As soon as I have to cut one thing out...i start relying on the other foods more. (I mean, I can still make spagetti...and have it dairy/soy free. Its one of the 4 dinners I can still make for myself...lol...)

I'm really going to end up just eating chicken and rice....for the next year...aren't i? arrgg..